It is comforting to know my brother and sister share the same frustrations when talking to my Dad on the phone. Love him (Dad) to death but 45 years of working as a mechanic in General Mills takes its toll on a body...ESPECIALLY THE EARS.
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(Recent phone call...)
Me: Hey Dad, how you doing?
Dad: Not too bad.
Me: Good. Well, listen I have that phone number of the repair shop you wanted me to track down. You ready for it?
Dad: Hold on, lem'me get a pen....(long pause).... Okay go ahead...
Me: 6-1-5
Dad: 6-1-9
Me: No...dad... 6-1-5
Dad: Okay...6-2-5
Me: No Dad...Listen... Six.... One.... Five....
Dad: Got it.... 6-1-5-5
Me: No....dad, I only gave you three numbers... It's 6-1-5.... and stop after the 5!
Dad: Okay...I got it
Me: Got it? Are you sure???
Dad: Yes, I'm sure!
Me: Okay then what is it?
Dad: What is what?
Me: The first three numbers!!!!
Dad: 6.....1......5
Me: Yes!!!!! You got it!
Dad: I know...that's what I've been saying all along.
Me: No...you haven't...but....never mind... We still have seven numbers to go. Alright, ready for the next three?
Dad: 3...
Me: No...don't write down three! Erase that number....(pause)... Did you erase it?
Dad: Yes
Me: Okay good...4-8-7.... Got it?
Dad: Yep
Me: Alright, what did you get?
Dad: What do you mean?
Me: What numbers did you just write down???
Dad: 3-4-8-7
Me: No! Dad...I only gave you three numbers!!!
Dad: I know. That's what I said....three....
Me: Stop!!! Just stop right there! There is no three!!!!
Dad: Then why did you tell me three??
Me: Because that's how many....grrrrr.....just forget it..... Okay just write these numbers down... Four.... Eight.... Seven... Got it?
Dad: Got it.
Me: Tell me what you got.
Dad: 4-K-7
Me: Dad!! No...There are no letters in this phone number!!!! It's an eight... Not a K!!!
Dad: That's what I said! ....4....7....8
Me: Noooo!!!! It's not 4-7-8!!! It's Four.... Eight.... Seven... It's 8-7 after the 4!
Dad: 8-7-4
Me: {{{{Silence}}}}
Dad: You still there?
Me: Unfortunately.
Dad: Are you going to tell me the phone number or what?
Me: I'm trying Dad... I swear I'm trying.
Dad: Okay...
Me: Here's what we are going to do Dad.... We are going to go one number at a time and you are going to repeat after me. Got it?
Dad: Got it.
Me: SIX
Dad: 6
Me: ONE
Dad: 1
Me: FIVE
Dad: 5
Me: FOUR
Dad: 4
Me: EIGHT
Dad: H
Me: Noo!!!! EIGHT!!!.... EIGHT!!!.... As in the number after sev....{{{{pause}}}}. It's an EIGHT Dad....it's a number.
Dad: 8
Me: {{{I drop the phone}}} Yes...dad....you got it.
Dad: I know.
Me: and the last number is SEVEN.
Dad: Okay
Me: Say the last number to me Dad.
Dad: 7
Me: Great!!!! Now say all the numbers to me.
Dad: 6-1-5-4-8-7
Me: Yes!!!
Dad: That's the wrong number.
Me: What do you mean it's the wrong number?
Dad: There's not enough numbers in that phone number.
Me: I know! We're not done....the first three numbers were the area code.
Dad: Did you say three?
Me: Nooooo!!!! I did not say three! Well....I did....but..... just forget it....
Dad: Are you gonna give me the numbers or what?
Me: I'm trying Dad.... I swear to god I'm trying.... Okay... Ready?
Dad: Yep
Me: Fourteen.... Thirty
Dad: That's only two numbers.
Me: NOOOOO!!!!
Dad: I know....I know.... Can't you take a joke?
Me: I'm not in the mood to joke Dad.
Dad: I thought it was funny.
Daryl: Fine! Now just read me back the entire phone number.
Dad: 6
Dad: 1
Dad: 5
Dad: 4
Dad: 8
Dad: 7
Dad: 1
Dad: 4
Dad: 3
Dad: 3
Me: OH MY GOD....SO CLOSE!!!!
Dad: What?
Me: The last number is ZERO
Dad: Thats what I said.
Me: No you didn't.... You said three.
Dad: Well I have a ZERO on my paper.... should I change it the three????
Me: NOOOOO!!!!! DON'T TOUCH THAT PAPER!!!!
Dad: You sure?
Me: Yes.... That's the number you need to call (615) 487-1430...they'll take your ATV in and get it fixed.
Dad: Oh...didn't I tell you?
Me: Tell me what??
Dad: My ATV is working fine... I just forgot to put gas in it.
{{{{click}}}}
PS - Now it may not have been EXACTLY like that but ask any one of my brothers or sister and they'll tell you it's pretty darn close.
PS - Dad...if you're reading this.... I LOVE YOU DAD!!! :)
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