My eyes snapped open eight minutes before my alarm was set to go off. It was 4:22 a.m. It amazes me how the brain works. There I was, lying in bed fully awake, a full two hours before I normally get up. One would think my body would be in deep sleep mode, yet my brain woke me and was beginning to get my faculties up and running. That's what hunting does for me. It has an amazing power to refresh and invigorate the body and mind. If the anticipation of the morning hunt was not enough to wake one's self, the life giving breath of watching the darkened forest come to life with the dawn's first rays sure was. I guess you could say it's the world's greatest snooze alarm. Fortunately for me, it would not be needed this morning. I was up and raring to go.
Dad, Frank and Charlie...they were a different story.
I could hear my dad and Charlie in a vicious and highly contested fight. They were battling on who could snore the loudest and I tell you what...they were both fierce and worthy competitors. Listening to the out-of-tune chainsaws, I was beginning to think I'd have to buy child locks for the kitchen cabinets since the dishes inside were rattling around violently. It sure would be a good but expensive way to determine the winner of the snoring duel though. Whoever broke the most dishes during the night would be crowned "Snoring King" of Moore County, Tennessee. I'd have to think about that one though. I had rented the campers so it was an expensive way to settle the dispute.
Having grown up with my dad I didn't feel too awkward trying to rouse him I must admit though, it was easier said than done. My dad is one of those guys that suffers from sleep apnea where you literally have to hold a mirror under his nose to see if he is still breathing. Sometimes it takes a good five minutes before you see the mirror fog up too. Scares the patootie out of us but he refuses to go to the doctor for it.
I grabbed his shoulder and gave him a little shake to rouse him from his slumber.
Nothing.
I grabbed him a second time and shook a little more firmly.
Still nothing.
The third time I grabbed him by both shoulders and shook him pretty hard while calling his name.
"Dad...Dad...time to get up."
My dad just so happened to be in between one of his long extended breaths, so when he did gasp for air, he did so in one of those loud over-exaggerated snorts to catch his breath. There was a rush of air as he inhaled. I swear at that exact moment a napkin flew past me and disappeared into thin air somewhere around his nasal area. Where it went I have no idea. All I know is my dad was finally awake.
"Time to get up and go hunting," I said.
With that, my dad immediately started to get up. He always was a great morning person. I left it up to him to wake Frank and Charlie, which he did, with far less effort than I had to exert. And I still have no idea where that napkin went.
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Now picture if you will, a small cramped pop-up a trailer with four not-so-fit guys trying to get dressed while still trying to shake the cobwebs from our heads. It was a flurry of activity.
My main goal was trying to make sure these almost octogenarians ate a good healthy breakfast. Needless to say, I was willing to prepare anything.
You know what they wanted?
Coffee.
I guess fifty years working in a factory you develop certain routines to start your day. Coffee was theirs.
I was beginning to question whether or not they would eat breakfast but then I heard it. It started with a plasticky-sounding sound followed by a couple of "tinks" from something small hitting the kitchen table. This was then followed by what sounded like a deluge of marbles.
I looked over and saw dad, Frank,
and Charlie all sitting around the table preparing to take their morning pills.
It looked like a Risk board minus the countries. There were reds, greens,
blues, yellows, and whites. And there were all shapes and sizes too. My dad and
Charlie had the biggest armies but Frank was no pushover either. For the next
ten minutes, the three of them sat there carefully selecting their next swallow.
No wonder they drank so much coffee. And apparently breakfast had been served.I must admit, dad, Frank and Charlie rarely just sat around wasting time. They were always doing something. The problem was, at their age, they just did things at a little bit slower pace than what I'm used to. I totally respected that, so I wasn't about to crack the whip and remind them of trying to get to their blinds before daylight. I had a good feeling there were birds on all the ridges around us so moving in the dark while they were still roosted was key to getting a jump on them.
By the time they were dressed and ready to go we had about ten minutes to hop on our ATVs and get to our blinds on top of the plateau. Unfortunately it was an eight-minute drive to the top of the hill, so needless to say, we were cutting it close. As my dad and Frank fired-up their ATVs I heard another ATV kick into life. That's when I saw Charlie saddling up on his.
"Hey Charlie...Aren't you hunting out of your blind?" I said, as I turned my head and shined my head lamp on his blind a mere thirty yards away.
"Yep!"
With that he drove about twenty feet, parked his ATV, began unloading his gear, and struck out toward his blind.
Oh well, he hauled his ATV 750 miles, he might as well use it. At that point, I nodded to Frank and my dad with my head lamp and we slowly began making our way up to the plateau.
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We hit the plateau and paused for a sec. I could already see a hint of the oncoming dawn in the east. As we sat there idling, the first gobble erupted to my right about 150 yards off.
"You guys hear that?" I asked as we sat in the pre-dawn night.
I was met with blank stares.
"A bird gobbled off to our right," I said.
Still blank. Apparently neither of them caught it. No worries, the low rumble of the ATVs was quite distracting so I understood their miscue. I filled them in to where the gobble came from and advised that we had better get a move on.
It only took us another minute or two to get to Frank's blind. I helped load his gear into his blind while he stashed his ATV. He only put it about twenty yards away but it was pretty well covered. As he was placing a decoy in front of his blind another gobble erupted but this time from a different direction. This one came from the red gate, exactly where my dad's blind was sitting.
I bid Frank farewell and wished him luck since the birds were hot and gobbling all around. I then scrambled in haste to my ATV. My dad and I had to go about another 300 yards down the trail to get to his blind.
We made it to my dad's blind in no time. Sure enough as we dropped off all of our gear outside his blind, a gobble erupted about 80 yards behind us. This time with an echo gobble a split second later. We had two birds on roost probably within eyesight in the fast coming dawn.
I told my dad to quickly hop in the blind and stay put while I ditched our ATVs. I could make better time than him and I wanted him to get settled in as quickly and as quietly as possible. Since these birds were so close we needed to move fast. I drove my ATV about 100 yards down a narrow logging road, buried it in a deadfall, and sprinted back to take care of my dad's ride. The gobbles were increasing in frequency. Man were they close. It was almost as if the turkeys were yelling at us for making too much noise.
As I eased back down the logging road towards my dad I tried my best not to make a sound. It's always easier said than done but I was making good progress. My dad must have been on pins and needles sitting inside that blind because the birds were nonstop hammering and they sounded like they were roosted right above him.
I would soon round a bend in the logging road that would give me direct line of sight to his blind 60 yards away. This was going to be a great set up. If I could coax the birds towards me they would fly down or walk right past my dad. And with the breaking dawn now upon us it was light enough that they would be flying down soon. I don't think we could've been given a better set up.
But then it hit me.
Rather, a beam of light hit me.
I had to consciously stop myself from yelling at him to turn it off.
I sprinted down the logging road, pulled off his head lamp, which by the way wasn't even needed anymore, and ushered him back into his blind.
"What are you doing Dad?!?" I whispered as sternly but as quietly as I could. "These birds are right behind us and can see us right now! We've got to be as quiet and as still as possible!"
In a voice that was nowhere near a whisper he responded, "What are you talking about?!? They can't see us now!"
"Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!" I responded with an extended forefinger in front of my lips.
"Don't you shush me!" in a now raised voice. "I have been hunting a lot longer than you've been alive and these turkeys aren't going anywhere. As long as they're on roost they don't care if we're walking around banging on a drum!"
I sighed.
For the next fifteen minutes my dad rumbled around with his flashlight in hand looking through his gear bags pulling out all his calls and getting situated. There may have even been a few curse words thrown out by him for good measure as he was trying to get comfortable. Yep...that's my dad and I love him.
Needless to say the birds that were roosted above us pitched down in the complete opposite direction.
Did I mention I was now beginning to better understand why their track record was what it was?
For the rest of the morning, not a single bird came within sight of my dad's blind. Though our morning was shot, I heard far off gobbles in all directions, including where Frank was sitting. From the sound of it, they were right on top of him too. Hopefully he would have better luck than us.
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