Catching Cubs...Literally!

Have you ever had one of those long ago memories you replay in your mind and although you smile you can't help but think, "What the _______ was I thinking?!"

Having worked with bears for a time in my life, I'm chock full of those memories. Thankfully, I still have all my fingers and toes and only one bite wound to my record. How I survived relatively unscathed still baffles me to this day, especially when reminiscing about the day I was catching cubs...literally.

 

Photo courtesy of Appalachian Bear Rescue.

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The day had started routine enough, frantic woman, barely consolable, pleading with me to come rescue three bear cubs from the apple tree in her backyard. In other words, nothing out of the ordinary (believe me, I've had much stranger calls). Low and behold, after calming her down and coaxing out the details, I learned the situation wasn't near as dire as she believed it to be. In fact, there really was no situation at all.

According to her, the cubs had been in and around her apple tree for a few days. What made this story unremarkable was the fact that so was "mom". She had been sighted in the area multiple times but for whatever reason, she would wander off and leave her cubs safely tucked away in the tree's branches. This apparently was a decent parenting practice from the bear's point of view but unfortunately it was an inadequate display of "mom skills" in the eyes of my early morning caller. She wanted the cubs rescued and there was no other action that would suffice.

Needless to say, I did my best to discourage her from taking any rash actions and assured her the cubs were in the best hands, or should I say paws, possible.

An hour later she called again and asked if help was on the way. At this point I realized this wasn't going to be an easy fix.

Again I tried to explain the situation and that the cubs truly were in no danger with mom periodically checking on them but her auditory skills were blocked by her determination to "rescue" the cubs. She hung up more frustrated than before.

At this point in time I decided to make sure Doug Scott, the TWRA biologist, was aware of the situation. He informed me he was already "quite aware" and before long we were exchanging pleasantries and oddly similar conversations on how we both tried talking sense into her. The mutual decision of course was to leave the cubs and the situation alone.

Oh...that lasted about a whole three hours.

This time when the frantic woman called back she notified us that she was going to get a response from someone. She had called every news station in town, not to report the orphaned cubs, but rather to report the inaction of the state wildlife agency to "rescue" them.

My second call to Doug was less jovial. I informed him that within an hour there were about to be throngs of news reporters surrounding not only the woman's residence but also the tree containing the three bears. In essence, someone was about to create a situation that might not just make headlines, but might ultimately make orphans out of cubs that truly were not orphaned in the first place.

Much to my surprise Doug immediately asked, "You busy?"

"Heck no!" was my response. And even if I was I wasn't gonna miss this for the world!

Needing to take quick action Doug asked if I could meet him at the residence pronto. I was there within 45 minutes, and so was Doug.

And there, perched in an apple tree sat three fat healthy little bear cubs.

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Me: "So what's the plan?"

Doug: "We gotta get these cubs outta here before the media and the rest of the circus shows up."

Me: "What's going to happen to the cubs?"

Doug: "Nothin'. I'm gonna return them to mom after it gets dark. She'll stick around...don't worry 'bout that. We just need the people to go away and leave them alone."

Me: "Brilliant!"

Doug: "Alright lemme think how we're going to catch these things." (Apparently Doug came straight from another location and didn't have time to stop by the office to retrieve his standard capture equipment.)

Me: "Well you better hurry because my guess is the TV crews will be here in less than ten minutes!"

Doug: "What do you have equipment-wise?"

Me: "A dog-carrier, a blanket and a Snickers bar. You're not getting my Snickers."

I think Doug quickly realized the bear center was not designed or ready for emergency capture and he knew better than to ask for my Snickers again.

Doug: "Alright, here's the plan..."

My eyes widened with excitement!

Doug: "I'm going to climb up in the apple tree and drop them down one at a time."

Me: "What am I supposed to do?"

Doug: "You catch them."

My eyes undoubtedly widened further.

Doug: "Don't worry...you'll figure it out."

He said with a wry smile.

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Scrambling like MacGyver to "figure it out" as Doug made his way to the base of the tree I spied the only thing at my disposal that might be able to help me out...the blanket at the bottom of the dog crate. Fortunately, there was another tool at my disposal, a neighbor of the crazy lady who wanted this situation resolved without any fanfare around his house. As 

I suspected, he was more than happy to lend a hand.

Our conversation was brief when he looked at me for the game plan.

Me: "Catch and twirl."

Him: "Got it."

(I told you it was brief.)

Doug shimmied up the tree as the three 15-pound cubs scurried further and further away until there was nowhere left to go. Fortunately they stayed rather quiet because the last thing we needed was to be looking over our shoulder for the absentee mom. There was a strong possibility she was within ear shot and the bawling of her cubs would undoubtedly rouse her concern.

As Doug inched closer and closer to the cubs I couldn't help but find the situation humorous. There was Doug, layed-out flat on a branch that was bending precariously as the closest cub swatted at his out-stretched hand like a prizefighter. He surely wasn't going to relieve his position without a fight.

"You ready?" Doug exclaimed.

At this point I didn't think "No" was going to be a valid option.

"Drop away!" I said with trepidation.

The very next moment Doug lunged his hand forward and grabbed the cub by the scruff of his neck.  The cub tried desperately to claw and nip at his hand but within an instant Doug released his grip and the little bear was free falling toward the blanket below. Fortunately it was only about a 10-foot drop and a little black fur ball landed squarely in the middle of the outstretched blanket. We release the tension on the corners simultaneously and engulfed him as if in a large sack. Immediately he began his best Tasmanian devil impression but to no avail, he could not find the way out.

The blanket was then lowered into the upstanding dog carrier and the bear was released within. Cubs two and three followed much in the same flawless motion. It was almost as if we knew what we were doing. The neighbor thanked us profusely for saving the cubs, not in the way the original caller intended, but in a way that would truly saved them.

Needless to say, it was nothing short of miraculous. We had all three bears removed from the tree in less than five minutes, loaded onto the TWRA truck, and driven to a safe location. As we were pulling away we could see the first of the news trucks arriving on site. I could only imagine their disappointment when they discovered the cubs had "wandered off". Little did they know it involved a short flight through the air into a waiting blanket below.

Yep, maybe it wasn't such a routine day after all.

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Before anyone asks… 

Yes, the cubs were reunited with mom. Doug had simply driven to a safe location a short distance away and waited for the disappointed crowd to disappear. As the evening rolled in, the bawling from the cubs attracted mom from the nearby brush. The door to the pet carrier was opened and the cubs made a beeline towards mom. If cubs could talk, one can only imagine the story they would tell.